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August 18-31
VOL.14 ISSUE. 26

Pull Pin, Toss Ball

Roland Sweet
Published Thursday April 2, 05:38 pm
You haven’t bowled until you’ve bowled with hand grenades

Photo Credit: Illustration by Myron Campbell

Two people in east Ukraine were injured while bowling after a player rolled a grenade instead of a ball. The blast occurred at a restaurant that also offers duckpin bowling, which uses a small ball without holes. Emergency Services official Sergei Ivanushkin cited the incident as the latest in a rash of accidents in the rebel-controlled area caused by careless use of explosives. (Associated Press)


Potato Sandwiches

Andrew McMenamin opened what he claims is the world’s first potato-chip sandwich café in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Simply Crispy (“crisps” are what the British call chips, which is their word for fries) offers 35 flavours. The sandwiches are served with soup (topped with crisps croutons) and fries. McMenamin got the idea from a spoof website article by Billy McWilliams and Seamus O’Shea, who observed, “Not only did people believe it, but people wanted to believe it, and the story went viral.” (Daily Mail)


It Happens

U.S. Customs and Border Protection posted job opportunities for doctors to help monitor suspected smugglers’ bowel movements at New York’s John F. Kennedy International Airport. Applicants must be available around the clock to use X-rays to examine body cavities of suspected “swallowers.” If drugs or other contraband materials are detected, “the detainee may be held for a monitored bowel movement (MBM) to wait the passage of the contraband,” according to the CBP, which uses a high-tech toilet to recover the material from the waste passed by the suspected smuggler. (The Washington Times)


It Happens 2: Electric Poopaloo

Human waste left by climbers on Mount Everest is causing pollution and threatening to spread disease, according to the head of Nepal’s mountaineering association. Ang Tshering told reporters that more than 700 foreign climbers and guides spend two months climbing the world’s tallest peak during the brief climbing season, leaving feces and urine at four camps where they stay to acclimate themselves to the altitude. “Climbers usually dig holes in the snow for their toilet use and leave the human waste there,” Tshering said, adding the waste has been “piling up” for years. (Associated Press)


Hot Pockets

Erik Johnson spent 10 days in a hospital burn unit in Lindenhurst, New York, recovering from second- and third-degree burns after his iPhone exploded in his pocket. “I bent over to get keys, and all I heard was a ‘pop’ and after a little ‘ssshh,’ smoke coming out and just like an instant burn,” Johnson said. “My leg just starts going on fire, try to get it out, can’t get it out. I was literally jumping up and down to get the phone out of my pocket, but I had dress pants on. I think the phone melted my pockets shut so I couldn’t get into it, and I had to rip my pants off. A couple of people actually said they could smell my body burning.” Apple said it’s looking into the case. (CNN)


Smartphones, Dumb People

Ontario researchers announced they’ve found a link between heavy smartphone use and lowered intelligence. The reason, their survey suggests, is that the devices encourage lazy thinking by allowing users to solve problems with computers rather than exercise their brains. “Decades of research has revealed that humans are eager to avoid expending effort when problem-solving, and it seems likely that people will increasingly use their smartphones as an extended mind,” said study co-author Nathaniel Barr of the University of Waterloo. (United Press International)


Ice Try

Brian J. Byers crashed his car while driving drunk and then poured water on the road so it would look like black ice caused the crash, according to police in Sparta, New Jersey. Byers drove the car home and had a friend drive him back to the scene, where an officer spotted Byers carrying two five-gallon buckets back to his friend’s car after emptying them. It’s not clear how many trips back and forth Byers made with the buckets, but the town’s public works department needed to apply half a ton of salt to make the road safe for driving. The officer charged the friend, Alexander Zambenedetti, 20, with drunken driving, too. (



Facebook announced that U.S. users can designate a “legacy contact” who is authorized to continue posting on their page after they die, respond to new friend requests, and update their profile picture and cover photo. Users can also ask to have their accounts deleted after their death, a previously unavailable option. (Associated Press)


Irony of the Week

A fire extinguisher factory in Chicago burned down, even after 156 firefighters with 26 pieces of equipment responded to the three-alarm blaze, because they had nothing to put it out with. Noting that firefighters couldn’t reach the flames with water, first deputy fire commissioner Charles Stewart III explained that firefighters finally “had one engine feed another engine to another engine until we got water on the fire.” (United Press International)


Injudicious Behaviour

When reporters spotted Flavio Roberto de Souza — the judge presiding over criminal proceedings against Eike Batista, once Brazil’s richest man — driving Batista’s confiscated Porsche, Souza insisted, “I did not take it to use, just to look after.” He explained the police didn’t have a porno izle safe place to protect it from exposure to sun, rain and possible damage, so he took it to a covered parking space in the building where he lives in Rio de Janeiro. “I want the car to be preserved in good condition,” he added. (Reuters)


Sometimes They Grow Back?

On the off chance you missed it, Canada’s House of Commons approved a policy change allowing military veterans who’ve lost limbs to verify their condition every three years, rather than annually. (The Canadian Press)

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